People are losing their minds over the Iowan council meeting that was opened with a Satanic prayer. As a Christian, I get it, I really do. It’s reprehensible to hear such a thing said out loud, to think that anyone is so far from God as to actually petition the devil for help.

In fact, the man responsible doesn’t believe that Satan exists. His brand of Satanism – the commonest, I understand – is fuelled by a hatred for Christianity. Such prayers as uttered at the Ottumwa Council meeting are a statement of rebellion rather than faith. Look carefully at what he said: it is all an inversion of Christian teaching, a rather pathetic, almost teenage, attempt to subvert the rules of Christianity.

It might make you realise that these Satanists are silly, immature, merely grandstanding against societal norms. They don’t even believe in the devil – his is just a suitably offensive name to call upon in order to offend Christian sensibilities. 

Which is exactly how he chooses to operate. Satan doesn’t want an army of out and proud followers, harnessing his power and calling attention to his plans. He would never entrust them with knowledge of his intentions, far less his modus operandi. I am quite sure he has nothing but contempt for every last one of them and their naive blundering on his behalf.

It’s fiendishly clever, no? Cause outrage because diversity has given Satanists a platform to pray publicly; allow outrage to subside as it emerges that these aren’t proper pentagram-drawing devil worshippers, just people raging against the machine. Roller-coaster of emotions culminating in the sense of an anticlimax. No Hammer Horror Satanists to see here, because, as we suspected, even Satanists don’t believe in the devil these days.

Which is what he wants. It’s how he does his worst work. Inversion, you see – just like the old movies showed us: invert the cross, say the Lord’s Prayer backwards . . . that’s the way to empower the dark lord.

Only, these symbols are not where it ends. Satan is looking to invert the pillars of Christianity – and he is actively recruiting followers to do that work for him. No qualifications necessary, because he needs minions in every field.

Interested? Here’s what he needs you to turn upside down: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Oh, and truth. The work is already well underway in the world, but there’s still plenty opportunity to distinguish yourself in his service.

No? Not sure you want to be part of Satan’s team? The thing is, he’s flexible. You don’t have to be on the books. In fact, you can be happily thinking that you’re serving another employer altogether and . . . bam, he’s got you on projects for his cause. Cash in hand is how he likes to pay because the long-term reward for doing his bidding, well, not so attractive, it turns out. And absolutely no health insurance.

You don’t need to be a member of your local Temple of Satan to support his plans. It works even better if you’re not. I have been in rooms where prayers are uttered, ostensibly to God, and the conduct that follows betrays the absence of any prayerful spirit. Sometimes, we don’t even have to call on Satan to summon him to our side; our own bad intentions are enough.

The worst thing we can do is be complacent. People who let the devil in, who further his cause, are mostly doing so with no idea that he is using them, far less any intention to help. As St Augustine wrote in ‘City of God’:

‘When, therefore, man lives according to man, not according to God, he is like the devil’.

Look around us; it is so easily done. We’ve been repeating it ever since the serpent first asked, ‘did God really say . . ?’