What’s love got to do with it?

Just when I thought I was safe from our former minister’s pesky challenges, up he popped on Sunday, reminding us to love one another. Why couldn’t he just go off to Marbella like other retired Brits, and stop unsettling people leis an dol a-mach seo? I tried writing some of it down in the hopes that it would exorcise the persistent voice that whispered, ‘do YOU love the brethren, Catriona Murray’?

I will freely admit to all of you, because the only one whose opinion matters already knows, that this is a particular issue of mine.  Funnily enough, though, it would be an even greater difficulty if the command was to like my brothers and sisters. That’s a subjective thing, you see, based on whether you find people interesting, appealing, pleasant to be around. And not one of us can say that we like everyone we meet; nor would everyone say that they liked us. 

But something I have eventually learned is that when the Bible talks of love, it is referring to something much bigger, and much less whim-based. In a way, it’s a bit like the joy you find in Christ – that doesn’t diminish depending on your circumstances; in fact, I have found that it grows, often in proportion to how hard those are. You find joy regardless of what else is going on in your life.

Well, the love that God speaks of is surely similar to that. I think we have to love one another even if we are not always likeable. We love because he first loved us. He didn’t wait until we were perfect, or even good; he simply loved us, because his love is not subjective and does not – mercifully – depend on our degree of lovability.

On Monday, the devotional app that I use had a really timely study that spoke to an issue I have discussed here previously. While my particular problem related to a professing Christian, this study talked in wider terms about how we should respond to those who wrong us. Of course, the human instinct is retaliation – but that would be to ape the world, and we have a different, a perfect, example to follow. Christ is not only love, but he is truth, and he allowed himself to be crucified without uttering one word of reproach to his betrayers.

What did he say? ‘Father, forgive them’, and sometimes I think that’s the only prayer we need in the circumstances of which I speak. If the person, or people, who try your patience are unbelievers and persecuting you for your faith, pray for them. I don’t pretend that this comes easily, but it is possible.

‘What’, you ask, ‘even in your resentful and sarcastic heart’? Yes, well, I’ve adopted a strategy. Like I said, subterfuge is pointless with God, and he can spot an insincere prayer a mile off. ‘Oh’, I can hear you say, ‘so now you’re a paragon of sincerity’! No. I offer my inadequate prayers to God, and ask him to bless my enemies according to his mercy, and not mine. That way, it doesn’t matter so much what I may feel about them, because I am not the author of their fate.

I’ve had quite a lot of practice with this and have found that nothing takes the sting out of your dislike the way that asking God’s blessing on your enemy will.

That’s enemies, though. What about the brothers (and sisters)?

Well, last time I wrote a post, it was about this very thing. A man, professing faith in Christ, but openly practising hatred for me was causing some consternation. Aside from the variety of wise and Biblical advice you all gave me, I also received the inevitable enquiries as to his identity. Some people guessed correctly which is, I think, a comment in itself. I concealed his identity in the first place, not because I am particularly merciful, but because the blog was never about him. 

All any of us can control is our own behaviour, and our own response to these kinds of challenges. A person with anger management issues so bad that the mere sound of someone else’s voice throws them into a rage is really an object of pity. But after meditating on the matter for a time, I was brought to the verse, 1 John 4:20, ‘ Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar’. It is a grave consideration because it implies that either his profession is false, or mine is. 

His, or mine? Well, I can’t answer that, nor can he, nor can you. And perhaps that uncertainty should be our gift to one another. There is, after all, nothing more dangerous than the conviction that your salvation is sure, if it is not. Such a person is possibly more lost than the loudest atheist.

And so, the best thing that we can do – any of us – is to try to make our calling and election sure. I can think of worse places to start than by praying for the brothers, and for those who have done us wrong. Yes, it’s mighty hard, but the power of prayer is in the one who hears, not the one who speaks.

Love IS Love

Love is all around us. We encounter the word incessantly, pouring out of our televisions, our radios, splashed across newspaper headlines and peppering social media. There has never been so much love, nor so much talk of it.

Only, I’m beginning to think that our obsession with the word belies the fact that we have lost track of what it means. For many people, the answer to that question would be, ‘love is love’ – inferring that it comes in many forms and that it can be anything we want it to be. It is yet another example of where absolutes have been removed, making it impossible to have any kind of definition at all. That’s what leaves us with the somewhat meaningless, ‘love is love’.

We don’t need to despair, however, because a proper definition does exist; it just happens not to be to everyone’s taste: God is love.

Instantly you bring Him into the conversation, of course, the eye-rolling starts. He’s a known killjoy. Funnily enough, the least Biblically literate of unbelievers know, almost instinctively, what He disapproves of. And, when you know He disapproves of what you want, then the best thing to do is write Him off as irrelevant, or even better, imaginary.

When you do that, though, there are consequences. You are purposely and repeatedly cutting yourself off from truth and choosing a convenient lie. Indeed, you are doing exactly what many Christians are accused of by atheists: you are creating a pretty fiction for yourself, and denying all evidence to the contrary. Spiritually speaking, you are deranged. For the sake of an easy and self-indulgent life now, you are choosing a hideous eternity.

That, however, doesn’t mean that believing ‘God is love’ sorts everything out. It is more than a mere fridge-magnet sentiment to be parroted in every tight spot and awkward situation. A few years ago, I sat in church as our then minister thundered that many people had gone to a lost eternity believing God is love. He was right. There are those who think that, because He is love, He would not let a basically decent person, who has lived a civilised life, suffer eternal death.

Neither He would; He has made provision for us to avoid that eventuality. He is not willing that any should perish – but some of us will it for ourselves by failing to accept His gift. Even in this, we are disobedient, messing about with our eternal souls, gambling them on a nursery belief that, because God is love, He won’t condemn nice people to hell.

No indeed; we condemn ourselves.

Which brings me back to that definition of love: God is. That’s really no help if you don’t know anything about God, though. I often hear from unbelievers that He is a figment of the imagination, a patriarchal construct, designed to supress and control successive generations, and to subjugate women particularly.

Every word they utter tells me that, no, indeed, they do not know Him at all. They have believed the propaganda – the tired, dog-eared mantra that the Bible is filled with contradictions, and that God presides over it all like a power-crazed tyrant. This God, who has been built from straw, is all too easy to knock down. He can be dismissed because He is fake.

See, the definition of love extends to a bit more than three words. And, if it’s too big to distil down to, ‘God is love’, then you certainly can’t get off with simply saying ‘love is love’ either.

So, go to the Bible, to the First Letter of John, and the fourth chapter. Here is a complete definition of love. It tells us that love is from God and that God IS love. This couldn’t be clearer, really, could it? Whether we like it or not, and whether we accept it or not, we cannot understand love apart from Him.

Which is the point where unbelievers start to shake their heads at smug, sanctimonious Christians, believing that they have a monopoly on goodness. The arrogance, honestly, of these God-botherers, claiming that only they know what love is, and that anything contrary to their understanding is not love.

See? We have heard all the arguments before.

I know that what I write here will offend some. Mercifully, being offended doesn’t kill; being lied to very well might, though, so let’s not do that. However much people want us all to agree that love is whatever we make it, and whatever we’re comfortable with, that simply does not make it true.

Love is what you see in the fact that God, while we were all in open rebellion against Him, sent His Son to die in our place. He only asks that we accept it, and permit Christ lordship over our lives.

Easy when you know how, but a colossal challenge if you have lived your life apart from God, believing Him to be a fiction. We live in a country that makes it increasingly hard to talk about Him without being mocked, pilloried, or silenced. In my own mother’s lifetime, Britain has gone from depending on the Lord in warfare, to dismissing Him utterly from our public sphere. It is difficult to witness for Christ when people hate you for it. Or, more accurately, hate Him through you.

Why go out with the Gospel, why intervene in debates where God’s name is trampled underfoot when you know that the chances of being listened to are slim, and the chance of being jeered at and derided very great?

The answer is ‘love’. We love because He first loved us. Having that love in us now, we cannot contain it; it has to flow outwards to others where we once were.

We see you, walking through the storm of life, head bowed against the onslaught. Watching, we remember how it felt to be there in the cold, buffeted this way and that, our peace and happiness subject to every prevailing wind. And we are moved, by the Saviour’s love for us and in us, to catch you and pull you in where we are, beneath the shelter of His wings.

That, my friends, is love, which comes from Christ and through Him, and depends only upon Him. God is love and, therefore, when He is the foundation, love IS love.